I have given a lot of thought to my writing recently. As life continues through hardship and challenges, much of which are completely out of my control, I have found solace in guided meditations and journaling. Sometimes it is as basic as vomiting my thoughts on paper to get it all out, so I’m not carrying it with me any more.
Recognizing my core emotions, sitting with them, and processing what is underneath. So much of what I have felt for years has been stuffed into a hole like society teaches us to do. Be tough, soldier on, move on, etc. And over the course of my two years of trying to process grief, learning to parent two challenging boys with traumatic pasts, and finding my identity which I never truly had a handle on, I have found writing can transform my thoughts, help me find my center, and rest in what I believe about myself.
I have found strength in blogs, books, and FB pages written by women who simply show up vulnerably. They show their struggles, scars, and life lessons with the world. If that can help me to feel less lonely, not alone in my circumstances, and strength to push through my hardest days, then I am so grateful that they would share their lives with the world.
In the recent months I have kept my inner thoughts, lessons, and feelings to myself. Struggling between the fear of appearing too vulnerable, airing out my life, and feeling unworthy of thinking I have anything to offer others like these other women. I have realized that I cannot possibly be the only one that benefits from reading these things. And most importantly, writing is part of my own self care.
I won’t share all my thoughts and writings with the world but I will share some. Not because I believe I am an expert, special or because I’ve learned it all, but because our world and society needs to know vulnerability and empathy are important values. If my words and experiences can help someone the way other warrior women have helped me, than it is worth it to show my heart and be authentic and real.